Frequently Asked Questions

From Cross the Hurdles

What is Counseling and Psychotherapy?

Counseling, or psychotherapy, is a professional relationship that focuses on personal problems. The counseling relationship differs from both social friendships and patient-physician contacts. Unlike friends, counselors are able to be objective; they are not involved in your daily lives. Unlike most physicians, counselors do not give specific advice or tell you what to do. Instead, they serve as skilled listeners who help you to clarify issues, discover your true wishes and feelings, and deal effectively with problems.

What could a counselor do to help?; After all, a chronic illness/disability isn’t going away

Counselors can work with friends, family, and the person who’s going through it. Coping and healing involves refocusing their lives, understanding abilities and limitations, moving through stages of loss, and coming out the other side finding new ways to feel good about themselves and their life. There are many strategies counselors use to help people heal and move forward.

What are some common stages people go through when faced with a disability?

To some degree, it’s similar to any major loss. Grief, denial, anger, depression, trying to figure out how it can change and will affect them. If enough resolution develops, one can accept the circumstances and limitations; accepting what the universe will hold for them.

How does disability affect one's emotional and mental state?

Feeling angry/enraged, sad/depressed, afraid/terrified, frustrated, confused, helpless, inadequate, embarrassed, ashamed, odd, numb, are just some of the emotions someone with a disability or chronic illness can have. Long-term painful thoughts and emotions can lead to alienation, loss of friends, more symptoms, feeling alone, and so on. It’s important to have lots of support in many areas, and means of coping if you’ve just developed a disability, or are having a hard-time coping with a disability you’ve had for years.

Studies done show people who are born with disabilities tend to be more well adjusted than people who’s disabilities came later in life. A person who goes blind at 20 years old deals with issues around the loss of never seeing what’s around them again, and the fear of, "Will I be okay? Can I still live without seeing?"

A man who’s done physical work his whole life, may experience a tremendous struggle. Finding he can no longer work or be independent can be especially debilitating for him.

How does disability affect one's emotional and mental state?

Feeling angry/enraged, sad/depressed, afraid/terrified, frustrated, confused, helpless, inadequate, embarrassed, ashamed, odd, numb, are just some of the emotions someone with a disability or chronic illness can have. Long-term painful thoughts and emotions can lead to alienation, loss of friends, more symptoms, feeling alone, and so on. It’s important to have lots of support in many areas, and means of coping if you’ve just developed a disability, or are having a hard-time coping with a disability you’ve had for years.

Studies done show people who are born with disabilities tend to be more well adjusted than people who’s disabilities came later in life. A person who goes blind at 20 years old deals with issues around the loss of never seeing what’s around them again, and the fear of, "Will I be okay? Can I still live without seeing?"

A man who’s done physical work his whole life, may experience a tremendous struggle. Finding he can no longer work or be independent can be especially debilitating for him.

There are so many different kinds of illnesses and disabilities, and of all ages. Are there any common threads?

People who are disabled are regularly discriminated against. Many people who have a disability or develop an illness will experience anger, frustration, and depression, from being part of a group being discriminated against. Things can be very hard, whether we’re talking about wheelchair entrances, promotions at work, strange looks, prejudice, or ridicule.

Things like wheelchair ramps into buildings, elevators, wider entrances, and so on, but these things still aren’t universal. There are just many barriers for disabled people. This is true whether you’re age 70, age 10, blind, or have AIDS.