Preventing development of addictive behavior in later life
Tips for Parents and Caregivers
People with developmental disabilities lack insight, skills and resources to do what is best for themselves. They are unable to foresee the consequences of certain acts and if any adverse consequence comes up due to their own action, they are unable to deal with such situations effectively. Since personal choice, self-expression and maximum independence are encouraged, people with developmental disorder are likely to fall prey to addictive behavior or sexual abuse.
Causes
Vulnerability
Cognitive skills required to resist the pressure to use alcohol and drugs, and to engage in other addictive behaviors like online sex, mobile addiction etc lack in these people. They also lack good judgmental abilities , impulse control, and the ability to learn from mistakes.
Parents over protect them since child hood. But without other adults looking out for them in a way their parents do, they could be hurt in many different ways. Those who show them some care and affection may get their trust easily. They have a tendency to think that others know what is right for them better than they do.
People with developmental disabilities are also at far higher risk for sexual abuse than their typical peers. They may be more inclined to tolerate abuse because they wish to be valued (however negatively), they may feel powerless, they may be lonely, and they may have intellectual impairments that prevent them from correctly judging or complaining about such a situation.
Wanting to Feel Normal and Accepted
There can be a feeling of inadequacy in them. They may often have a hard time making friends and being accepted by peers. Alcohol and illicit drugs provide a quick route into social relationships and acceptance - particularly from those who wish to exploit them. There is also a risk of their being forced into prostitution.
Negative Consequence of Therapies
Many therapies teach children with developmental disabilities, such as Autism Spectrum Disorders, to be compliant. Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), for example, is focused on teaching children to become more compliant by repeatedly rewarding the behavior that the therapist wants from the child.
Though these therapies try to social and functional behavior, yet there is a risk that overuse of these therapies may make these individuals overly compliant. This can make them easily manipulated into doing the things they would not necessarily do if they were better able to think for themselves. They might develop an inability to "just say no" in some individuals.
Strategies which parents should use
Expose Children to Healthy Community Activities
Parents should begin to regularly take their child to positive social environments, such as libraries, community center and gym activities, parks, places of worship, and play groups etc. This would give the child a sense of belonging in the community. This would provide them less of a need to seek out connection through places designed for addictive activities such as alcohol, drugs, sex clubs and gambling venues.
Use Social Stories to Teach Your Child About Trust
While trying to build trusting therapeutic and nurturing relationships with children with developmental disabilities, parents might neglect to teach them how to distinguish between people they can trust, and those they cannot or should not trust.
Along with teaching children social compliance skills to facilitate relationships, children with developmental disabilities should also be taught when not to comply. Social stories can help children learn that not everyone is their friend. They need to be taught assertion.
Teach Your Child to Understand and Trust Their Emotions
Fear, anger, hurt and shame are uncomfortable emotions. But when a person ignores or represses them he/she becomes more vulnerable to addictive behavior as a way of escaping from these feelings. Teach your child to label and express emotions in appropriate ways, and never criticize them for what they feel. They need to be helped to trust their emotions as a way of distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy alternatives before them.
Teach Your Child to Cope with Discomfort and Disappointment
Drugs or medicines should be used minimally to deal with discomfort and unwanted behaviors. Over use of medicines can pave the way for future drug use. Frustration may be expressed through emotional and behavioral outbursts. Respond by teaching effective ways of dealing with emotion, providing appropriate outlets, making “substitute” choices when they cannot have what they want, and acknowledging feelings of disappointment.
Normalize refusal and build good boundaries by saying "no" to inappropriate requests on a regular basis, and provide your child with emotional support in coping with refusal from others.
Educate Your Child in Self-Responsibility
People with developmental disabilities may form a habit they can avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior. They should not get the impression that people around them do things for them out of pity, discomfort at watching the person struggle or because it is the easier way to get something done. This can lead chronic dependency and make them vulnerable to the influences of others.
Learning self-responsibility can start early with simple tasks, such as retrieving a toy, closing the door when entering the home and cleaning up after themselves and apologizing for hurting others.
Increase Opportunities For Friendships and Relationships
The child of must be encouraged to make friends in healthy social settings. Use either nonverbal communication or talk to them to discuss what makes them feel good and bad about friendship. Their emotions should be labelled and they have to be taught to discriminate between people acting in best of their interests and people acting selfishly or abusively. Never force your child to remain friends with someone who has mistreated them for the fear of losing his/her friend or a temporary loneliness. Your child can find good friends, never forget that.
Provide Your Child With Appropriate Sex Education
The child should know the correct name and function of each body part as soon as possible. Help them understand about public and private places, including those on their bodies and those in their environments. They should know how to recognize how they are touched or if they are being sexually abused, in terms of physical acts. They should be encouraged to disclose any abuse, and should be taken seriously if they do disclose. If they have been sexually abused support them therapeutically as well as emotionally. Report to law enforcement authorities.
Do Not Make an Issue of Rebelliousness
Young people have a natural desire to rebel, which may be rewarded by the drug users and punished by caregivers. Accept differences which are not harmful in terms of self-expression. Instilling values of self-respect and self-responsibility. Practice what you preach. Become a role model for them.
Discourage Manipulative Behavior in Your Child
People with disabilities sometimes learn to manipulate other people to get things and attention for free, and without giving anything back. This is an adaptive way of coping with being in a powerless position. But it can put them at risk for bargaining with sex, or accepting free drugs in adolescence and adulthood. Encourage your child to understand and participate in social reciprocity. Teach replacement skills that encourage your child to take responsibility for contributing something for everything received in life.
Don't Inadvertently Train Your Child to be a People Pleaser
They should not be conditioned to be overly compliant and “good,” and that this pleases people in authority. It is important to teach them to consider the feelings of others but their own feelings about what is right for them must be respected, first and foremost.
Role Model a Healthy Lifestyle
If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your child! As a parent or caregiver of a child with a developmental disability, you are vulnerable to stress, burnout, and depression. Seek support for yourself if you are suffering mentally or emotionally. Eat a healthy diet with your child. Exercise regularly, particularly in ways your child can witness. Find Avoid use of alcohol, drugs, and other addictive behaviors, particularly in front of your child. Use healthy behaviors, such as relaxation skills, to manage day-to-day discomforts such as headaches, rather than taking a painkiller. This will be the greatest influence on your child's future behavior.
